Long Lost Wallys

Every so often I get an email from someone who has searched for me on the web because their treasured Wally mug, plate or bowl has broken and they need a replacement. The most recent request came from Mark in Washington DC and the mug that broke was an old design that I vaguely remembered... something about smoking, nihilism and angst. For some reason I couldn't recall all the details of this one and a search through my filing cabinet couldn't produce a photo of the mystery design. Fortunately, Mark sent me a pic of the broken mug and a replacement is forthcoming in this week's kiln load. But the search for the "lost" Wally adventure got me thinking that I really should get my archival act together. So in the interest of posterity, I'm posting below a whole bunch of ancient Wally adventures. Folk art curators of the future take note... all of these are out there somewhere!

• "Wally descending a staircase" (a la Marcel Duchamp)
• Wally gets an NEA grant to wrap himself in an American flag and sit in a vat of lemon jello
• Here it is! The highly controversial Mapplethorpe portrait of Wally
• Wally channels Andy (Warhol) and hits the party circuit
• Wally still can't figure out the lyrics to "LA Woman"
• Wally and Axl Rose do a killer cover version of "When I'm Sixty-Four"
• Wally goes to a punk rock nightclub
• Wally gets front row seats to a Morrisey concert and becomes celibate
• Wally gets a B-52 to sing backup on his new album and has his biggest commercial success ever
• New age superstar, "Walli" opens at a Yanni concert with his shimmering cover version of "Holiday in Cambodia"
• Wally, the world-class charades master, plays a round where he must non-verbally communicate the titles of old Brian Eno songs
• Wally convinces the Jerry Garcia band to do an eighteen minute cover version of "The six Finger Jingle" WTF! This is the most ridiculous and esoteric joke I've ever done! - Tom
• Wally and Mr. Rogers become vampires and do a late-night infomercial
• Most dogs simply eat grass.... Wally watches "Thirtysomething"
• Agent Cooper notices a curious, distinct pattern in the donut scenes in"Twin Peaks"
• Wally goes to Hell and listens to the same Barney tape forever
• Wally casts Lorena Bobbitt in the leading role in "Edwina Scissorhands"
• Wally stars in the low-budget sci-fi epic, "The Two-Headed Dog from Pluto"
• Wally, the bravest dog on Earth, operates a leaf blower at Sean and Madonna's house at six in the morning
• Wally takes The Pope to a rave
• Wally attains cult status
• A Wally cult member goes crazy
• Wally's friends get worries when he becomes a complete Susan Powter fanatic
• Wally humps a watermelon
• Wally gets his watermelon a sexy new outfit
• Wally gets kinky... menage a trois with watermelon
• Wally's adventures with watermelons create a litter of little wallymelons
• Wally lands his total dream job: product durability tester at Aacme Love Dolls, Inc.
• Wally goes straight to the tabloids with shocking polaroids of hmself and Bill Clinton
• Hillary Rodham Clinton gives Wally the job of enforcing her new health care program
• Wally and Tipper Gore star in the environmentally correct remake of "Easy Rider"
• Wally and Dan Quayle take the stealth bomber to Vegas
• Wally and Dan Quayle fantasize about having a bloodless coup d'etat here in The United States
• Wally bumps into Ted Kennedy and Pee Wee Herman at the all-night liquor store, porno shop and dog biscuit emporium
• Wally and Al Gore go to a Marky Mark lookalike contest
• Wally pulls quite a prank on Japanese Candid Camera
• Wally deciphers Al Gores book and finds himself living in an old "Twilight Zone" episode
• Wally's mother reveals that Bob Packwood is Wally's father
• Wally and Godzilla get a great advertising gig for the Mothra Twins
• Wally gets Tonya Harding a job advertising "The Club"
• Wally's gay ski shop in Aspen goes broke and he is forced to burn his Barbar Steisand records for warmth
• Wally and Mother Teresa blow off World Youth Day and hit the outlet stores in Silverthorne
• Wally finds a miracle buffalo pie at the base of the Mother Cabrini Shrine.... is it the divine image of Elvis or Jesus?
• Wally gets his very own cold war surplus MX missile
• Wally and Joe Camel summon the spirit of Sigmund Freud
• Wally gets Rush Limbaugh a date with a feminazi
• In a shameless ploy for media attention, Wally agrees to a conjugal visit with Amy Fisher
• Wally's bogus environmental organization raises enough money to sponsor a spotted owl driver in the Indy 500
• Nike and The Grateful Dead hire Wally and Ken Kesey to promote their new shoe -I love this one.... Ken and Wally are saying, "It's a shoe and a bong! It's Nike's 'Dead Air"